content

I'm content but tired today, thus the little working people in my head are sleeping....let them rest...

Old story and a simple story but one that always pulls my 'heart strings'.....

The Power of Your Actions
by Unknown

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friend the following afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye.

I handed him his glasses and said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey, thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. It turned out he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before coming to this school.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Damn boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!". He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day arrived - I saw Kyle and he looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him!

Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I stared at my friend in disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.

How do you make a baby?

Question: How do you make a baby?

Answer: When a man and woman love each other very much they make a baby.

Question: What is sex?

Answer: Sex is what they use against each other when they don't.

quote from the tv series Becker.

i will use that one for the gems! Brilliant! who says you can't learn from tv!

ennui

ennui - derived from the word annoyance in old french, meaning a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction.

My state of being lately. Gosh I'm morbid...but I have so much purging to do. Sometimes anger can give me drive, sometimes it can be destructive. I choose drive, today. Tomorrow, destruction.

When i get them all out, i will be free of baggage....

Somewhere along life's changes....

Somewhere along life's changes...i seemed to have misplaced, lost, neglected, parts of me....

i lost my self confidence, or confidence in self. That youthful blind ignorance i guess now upon reflection, was just that. But nevertheless, it gave me character, bliss and alot of smiles. There once was a time, i sillyly thought i knew everything or could know everything, and everything was within my grasp...if i wanted it to be. And ironically, that was how life was for me, its truly interesting how this works. Think it and 'it' becomes....

Now memories just tease or dare me to ponder on all the illusions i had. i now recognize them as illusions...i tell you, ignorance is bliss...my bliss...and really i wonder sometimes.......

So i'm having lots of 'off' days....so much clutter in this head of 'mind', just when i 'think' i've organized it, more junk invades me...i tell you, stupidity is bliss...really...let me define....

If you know not better, than now is better and the now is fully appreciated...thus, the less one knows, the less confusing, the less confusing, the more in now we are...the more in now we are...bliss!

Ok i don't even believe me...its sad how i want to know it all and its sad how sad reality is, or how i make reality it...ok enough.

red pill, blue pill, red pill, blue pill....I always liked the colour blue....

But i am masochistic .....

red pill, blue pill, red pill.......

common sense

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Food for my thoughts anyways..."common" and "sense" especially if these words are broken apart.
Sometimes stumbling on or noticing something for the first time, though its been around for awhile, puts me in this state of thought and I feel really stupid....

Sometimes having 'common sense' can be hindering.....

Simply silly and amazing....

orange treasure

ashti made me an orange candy bowl out of clay decorated with beads and sparkles in preschool for mom's day. While all other mom's had tea lite dishes. I was very proud of it, and commented on it almost daily...then she broke it...I was so sad...and as one can see still think of it once in an orange moon or a blue mood...will disect it on a another write....

test

Test, test test and more test...April 24 2004. My very first words in print...too bad it so mundane and bOring...practice makes comfort...