Ambrey

today 6 years ago, at approximately 2pm, ambrey decided to grace the world with her presence.

she was huge and loud and beautiful. ambrey had an appetite that would put anyone to shame. luckily her meals were free:)

i look at her now and am overwhelmed by the little individual she has become. she got up today before her sister (which is very unusual), excited and full of anticipation. she picked out a cream skort and bright orange tank, got ready, brushed her teeth and got her own breakfast of cheerios and milk.

i miss my baby, i'm choked with pride and sadness, as she is now a little girl who is growing more independent each passing day.

i wrestle daily with the 'dependence' vs 'independence' thing. apparently 'inter-dependence' is the way to go...but that is another blog.

i am so proud of her and all she is, and today is another reminder to treasure each moment.

its also quite unnerving to witness your own mannerisms and expressions mimicked, and idiosyncrasies ingrained in another little being.

amazing the cycle of living...

happy life my dear little one and all of happiness returned over and over again.

soak up the sun

its ironic or maybe not, that i find lyrics to songs quite enlightening.  sheryl crow's soak up the sun, it was playing in the background on tv on muchmusic one night...
 
'its not having what you want, but wanting what you have...."
 
why is that such a struggle for most of us?  as much as this is obvious, in thought, in doesn't seem to be in action.
 
i have so much and i acknowledge this, my mind appreciates this but my actions don't. why?
 
there is such detachment from the mind to the physical.  the tie should be  a natural flow, but its not.
 
its been an amazing sunny summer...
 
soak up the sun...
 
thinking...

questions

i should like running.  if running wasn't so exhausting.  in my mind i run alot.  i wonder if that contributes to my metabolism. though i must be running less... i need a physical sport i enjoy, so along with mind purging, i can physically rid myself of all the chemical toxins my brain conjures up and all that's in my realm.
 
i like climbing.  it would be great to reach the clouds and hide sometimes. today would be a good day to do just that, and stay there for a while.
 
i like sleep.  its good for me.  its a good escape from too much stress and reality.  sometimes i can control my dreams.  i love that.  i like to control my fate. but that is sometimes near impossible.
 
i like reading.  time travel is a very interesting concept. it intrigues me.  i'm reading a fascinating book by Bill Bryson which dabbles in alot of interesting concepts to the ever long and mostly unrealized question about how we all began? universe, planets, earth and all living matter.  the question that goes on questioning. 
 
that basically describes me.