dissonance

i'm an 'experience junky'. i remember being two. (yes really!) i was apparently a very hyperactive child and was in my uncle's workshop when we were visiting my grandparents in Borneo. i was with my cousin rose, she wandered off and i stayed to play with a vice on my uncle's work bench. i somehow managed to loosen it, and instinct told me that it was going to fall. i sat on the ground below it, stuck one foot out, and it came tumbling down on it. the rest of the story was my mother's version of the hospital, cast on my foot, how i could not keep still and it kept coming off...

i think about this incident ever so often, because the memory of it is still quite clear and i'm not sure why. i distinctly remember sitting down and waiting for it to fall on one foot. i tucked the other behind me. part of the reason of my lamenting over this is that footwear is a passion of mine, and i now have a stunned toe and well the rest are just ugly as a result of this.

part of being human is forgetting. it is what helps us through this very complex world. otherwise, i'm not sure how our brain could process each and every moment. we help expand this complexity with computers, inventions, discoveries, and really by simply thinking...anyway, i'm almost at another thought...so back to this, why is the incident so clear? i see it now in slow motion.

so many analogies, but they don't seem 'truthful' to my experience.

this train of thought comes from reading Maria Abagis' blog 'Cycling the Road Less Travelled'. they have such marvelous adventures, and the joy and aliveness of their experiences are amazing. i've always had wanderlust. i'm always smiling when i read. thank you maria:)

africa. i myself have always wanted to go there. i know nothing about africa, i've read some, but like i've read books or clippings about other places, but my craving comes from nowhere that i can logically explain. all i know is i would like to go there someday and see the Serengeti. this place more than any other.

i'm restless today. i'm usually mostly restless in my mind. there are so many things to do each day and i seem to want to do it all:) i don't think i can ever be bored as i don't know how really. mind is too busy.

well, i'm off to the reality of the routine which i love and dislike at the same time. i wouldn't trade it, i just want two of me...well maybe more. i sound very strange, even to me. insanity is the balance of life i say...

well that's the racket of some moments in my mind today.