blah

blah.

restless in thought and spirit. many things to do, but in a mode of a cluttered mindset.

taking this moment to scribble into somewhat a sane thought pattern. it is not interesting but interesting that the only certainty in life is death. this string of thought comes from dan's grandfather's recent passing.

in each of us, whether conscious or not, we struggle to organize what we want to accomplish & experience in this short time. some of this of course seem not in our power to make reality. however, many readings and gurus tell us that it is just a mindset. eckhart tolle new earth - awakening your life's purpose ( if you aren't aware i am somewhat of a 'self help' type book junky) advocates this loosely but expands on the 'present moment' being the most valuable where one should be in absolute 'present' in being - mind, body and self. Of course there are all the other theories that which he describes as 'pain body', the ego, the human vs being...etc that have been said, but he does put it in a perspective that is easier for the lay person to comprehend.

it is a mindset that is logical somewhat, but i struggle with 'being' it. i guess that is the eternal struggle in the general.

on another thought - 'the happiest baby on the block' is a helpful book for new and not so new parents, very easy to read, and again, nothing that hasn't been said in more so in the 'olden' days in various writings, sayings etc, but all in one book with update explanations or really some explanation to the 'whys' that these methods seem to work.

the baby signing book is another I'm starting, I've always love languages but am terrible at maintaining them. sign language i believe can be a 'life skill' in many situations or helpful at least. this seems to be a not so new movement offered for a while for babies to help understand and easy the transition to verbal language. I think it will be fun for the girls to learn and develop with their new baby doll.

still struggling with the mess in my brain and the logic:)

as i said it's blah today.

thinking...

To believe is to know you believe, and to know you believe is not to believe.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
- Peter Ustinov

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
- Bruce Grocott

Lady Poo-alot

graced us with her presence on june 28, 2008 at 5.25pm. Weighing 8 pounds and 19.1 inches.

she is indeed an amazing entity with a personality that is all her own:) i love her toes and fingers. her smiles lights us all up and her expressions make us laugh alot.

when she cries we take pictures and video her.

everything she does fill us with wonder and fascination.

hopefully, we won't screw her up too badly. yesterday, someone told me that her friend had started a therapy fund for her child as she knows she's already messing the child up.

that is definitely an idea.

Elex is nine weeks. It seems true the corny sayings on 'taking time to smell the roses' and how your mind and priorities change etc. the significance of all the 'wisdom words' seem to hold more meaning as time goes on. i can actually feel my vulnerability and mortality. (well could be the hormones as well) personally i seem quite foreign to myself these days.

short version (as i could go on and on...)it was a 2-day labour, forceps and vacuum, a posterior birth, broken blood vessels in my eyes and right side of my face, etc etc etc and still some residue of the body repairing horrors...i looked like Frankenstein then.

However, people tell me now that i look the same, and since i can wear my pre pregnancy clothes, i guess it's true.

the first few weeks were blurry and i was just in coping mode. But as each day passes, this amazing wonder, this human possibility is truly awesome.

as most parents say, words fail to express this experience.

it is not for everyone, we all have our paths, but it's not something that can be explained or described, it just has to be experienced. however, there is one necessary component, you have to want to.

i'm lucky that i have ash and am. they loVe helping, (even changing diapers) and are so enthused by Elex that their friends are all asking their parents for another sibling, which I get alot of flag about!

this is a good day post:) the lady calls...changing diaper number 5.